


Falling for you

by ColorfulWarlock



Series: Fallen Nephilim [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: All Nephilim have wings, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Different Deal, Episode: s03e18 The Beast Within, Fallen Nephilim, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Malec Discord Server WINGO, Self-Sacrificing Alec Lightwood, Tainted Wings, They are a thing here, This is really a tag wow, Wingfic, asmodeal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:13:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23987299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColorfulWarlock/pseuds/ColorfulWarlock
Summary: “How much are you willing to sacrifice for Magnus? Would you lose your identity to save his?”
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Fallen Nephilim [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1729603
Comments: 27
Kudos: 257
Collections: Wingo Summer





	Falling for you

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first contribution to the Wing!fic Bingo for the Malec Discord.  
> I'll use some squares for this series, so the stories will be connected.  
> This is not beta-ed, so I'm sorry for any mistakes.
> 
> Bingo Square: Dirty Wings (which I took as Tainted Wings for this story)

“Alexander Gideon Lightwood,” were the first words Asmodeus said with a blatantly mockery tone. He took his surroundings, but mostly paid attention at the pentagram on the floor and the four blades around him.

“You know who I am?” Alec clasped his hands on his back, being every inch of his height, every part of his military upbringing. His wings were fully open, looking sharper as ever.

“Of course. Clever idea, summoning me this way,” he probed with his magic the invisible wall, feeling the strong resistance. The angelic power imbued into that cage was annoyingly high.

“I wasn’t gonna risk letting loose another Greater Demon in New York, but I had to speak with you.”

For as much as Alec wanted to yell at his siblings and Clary for summoning Lilith at another unsanctioned mission while he was busy begging Lorenzo to save Magnus’ life, he must admit it was clever to use the Malachi Configuration. Alec considered using a Warlock conduit to talk to Asmodeus, but knowing how Lorenzo gave and took his magic from Magnus, he thought that it would be necessary for the Greater Demon to actually be in this plane to give back what he took.

“How is my son?” Asmodeus glanced around again, taking in the spacious warehouse.

“Miserable. He told me that he will never be happy again without his magic. So please, if you ever cared about Magnus, return what you stole.”

“What I stole? My son gave me his power willingly to save his lover’s _parabatai._ Pathetic.”

The mocking tone again. Alec wanted seriously to punch the hell out of Asmodeus, but at the same time, he knew the demon was right.

Magnus sacrificed his identity for him.

“It’s not pathetic. It was a selfless act.”

“One he already regrets. Immortals aren’t meant to grow wrinkled and grey. In time, Magnus will come to resent you, until the bitter end.”

Alec’s Adam’s apple bobbed.

He knew that. He _knew_.

But he forced himself to remain calm.

“I’m here to prevent that future. To get his magic and his immortality back.”

Asmodeus paused for a moment to study the Shadowhunter in front of him.

“How much are you willing to sacrifice for Magnus? Would you lose your identity to save his?”

Alec’s left eyebrow twitched. He was doing his best to keep his blank expression, refusing to show any sign of anxiety or weakness in front of the Greater Demon. Well, he could say he had a lot of practice having to deal with the Clave’s delegates.

Izzy called it his best resting bitch face, and he should be offended. But now? He would give his damn best to keep that face.

“Yes,” he answered without hesitation. He thought about that a lot lately. Due to the alarming circumstances, of course Magnus hadn’t had time to really think about the weight of what he was giving up until it was too late. Which was true – had Magnus delayed one more minute to get to that alley, Alec would be dead by now. But Alec had time to think. To see the pros and cons.

There were a lot of cons, but he was never very good to pick the best outcome for him.

For a long time, only Izzy, Jace and Max were his priority. Then, Magnus showed up and made Alec’s heart his home.

Magnus and his siblings would always come first.

Asmodeus’ grin was almost predatory, causing a shiver down Alec’s spine.

“Perfect. In exchange for restoring Magnus’ magic and immortality, I want your wings.”

Alec gasped softly, his face paling.

"What?"

“You heard me, Shadowhunter. Your wings for his magic. That’s the deal.”

Alec clenched his jaw painfully, then finally spoke, lifting his chin and straightening his back.

“If I give them to you, I’ll die. I don’t think Magnus would be very happy with that. I won’t inflict that kind of pain in him. I must be the only one to pay the price.” 

“Very well,” Asmodeus tilted his head as if he was a cat watching a bird at the verge of being caught. “This is why I won’t rip them out from you. I only want their angelic properties. All the angelic power connected to your soul. Do you know what that means, right?”

Alec narrowed his eyes, for the first time avoiding Asmodeus’ gaze since that talk started.

Of course he knew the implications.

He would fall.

All Nephilims were born with wings. The most common ones were those with white feathers, like Raj’s or Lindsay’s. However, colorful ones weren’t rare, and they were _really_ appreciated. Any color. Jace had golden wings, Izzy had scarlet ones and even Clary’s emerald green had a beautiful hue. Alec glanced at his own – midnight blue with silver streaks.

Magnus liked to say he held all the stars on his wings, and that he felt more in peace gazing at Alec’s wings than the vast sky.

Alec would never admit that he cried after hearing that.

And as many colors were accepted, there was only one that could never – ever – taint a Nephilim’s wing.

Black.

The color of a fallen Nephilim. One who failed under the Angels’ blessing.

Valentine had black wings. Jonathan too.

He would be regarded as less than a human being. Worse than the Circle members. Worse than demons.

Nothing.

Also, without the angelic properties from his wings, flying would be painful. Using the runes would be painful; maybe some wouldn’t even work or work less. He would be cursed. And yet…

Yet…

He would gladly accept it to make Magnus whole again.

“Deal.”

Asmodeus nodded, but the smug grin never left his face. He pulled out his cane, revealing a hidden sword inside it. If Alec wasn’t so tense, he would have scoffed. Of course it wasn’t a normal cane. Asmodeus slithered it across his palm and made a deep cut. Dark red, almost black blood began to drip from it. Then, he kneeled down and started drawing an intricate pentagram on the floor with his own blood.

Minutes later, with a swirl of his wrist, blue wisps of magic started to flow out from his fingers and Alec froze.

That magic… He would know that magic anywhere.

_Magnus’ magic._

Alec’s fingers twitched, his hands trembled. He wanted to reach it so badly.

When Asmodeus finally finished and got up, he turned to Alec with a satisfied expression.

“My part is done. Now, you just need to put one of your feathers inside this pentagram and six drops of your blood. Our contract will be sealed then and the exchange complete.”

Alec only nodded, not trusting his voice to say anything else to Asmodeus. He was about to cut the connection and send the Greater Demon back, when he heard his name being called again with a teasing tone.

“Send my best wishes and all my love for my son, will you?”

Alec rolled his eyes so hard, it gave him a headache. He ended up stomping at the chalked line of the summoning pentagram with more strength than necessary, but he finally cut it and Asmodeus was gone.

“Fuck you…” He muttered while making his way to the Malachi Configuration. Turning it off, he entered it and crouched in front of the blood pentagram. Cautiously, he approached one hand and almost immediately some blue sparkles jumped into his hand as if they had recognized him.

“Magnus…” He felt his eyes tearing up, but he refused to cry. He didn’t have that right. That messed up situation was his fault after all. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, feeling his heart breaking a little more.

Without wasting more time, he plucked out one of his feathers and admired the color – his color – one last time. “Goodbye,” he muttered and put it inside the pentagram. Then, taking one of his knives, he also cut his palm and let exactly six drops of blood fall onto the center of it.

The reaction was instantaneous. 

Red tendrils of magic lashed out at his wings, forcefully seizing them. Before Alec could react, something _pulled_ , and for a moment he felt like his life was being sucked out from him. It hurt. It hurt a lot. It took some minutes for him to realize he was screaming. It felt like someone was ripping out his feathers, one by one. At the same time, all his body convulsed as if he was being cut inside out, the worst pain coming from his chest. From his heart.

He didn’t know how long it took, but when it ended, he was barely conscious. The last thing he saw before passing out was an explosion of blue light.

Then, nothing.

~*~

There was a peaceful quality in New York during dawn. It was never too dark nor too quiet, but you could feel the stillness somehow. Soon the sun would rise and the streets would get busier.

Alec liked that brief moment of balance, and perhaps it was going to be the last time he would be able to feel at peace before everything crumbled down below him.

With a lot of effort and pain, he was able to reach the roof of that building. Sitting on the railing, he watched the city, trying to not dwell too much on the decisions he spent the last hours making. His cellphone flashed again, an incoming call from his mother.

It has been like that the whole night. A lot of calls and messages from his siblings and Magnus. Asking where he was, what happened, if he was alright.

Izzy was the only one who knew he was going to summon Asmodeus.

Jace must have felt his pain through the _parabatai_ bond.

And Magnus…

His first message was a mundane one, asking what time he was going to Maryse’s shop to meet him. He had forgotten Magnus was there helping his mom. Then, the unsurprised ones started at a stormy stream.

_Alexander, my magic. My magic is back._

_I don’t know what is happening._

_It’s better if you check on the Institute if someone summoned my father._

Oh, the irony…

_Alexander?_

_Why aren’t you picking up?_

_Your siblings can’t reach you too._

_Alexander???_

_What is happening?_

_Have you done something?_

_Alexander, please._

_Alec, I swear to God, if you don’t pick up I’m going to track you. Now I can!_

And that was it. He felt his last resolve abandoning him and finally accepted Magnus’ call.

_“Alec, where are you?”_

“I’m…” He looked around, but honestly… “I don’t know. Just a random building. I wasn’t really paying attention when I flew here.”

_“What happened? My magic came back suddenly and I was so happy. For a moment I thought my father was here, but I can’t feel his presence and Isabelle said there wasn’t any alarm in the Institute regarding a Greater Demon. Then you disappeared and… And…”_

Alec closed his eyes. There.

_“Alec. What have you done?”_

He exhaled deeply, closing his eyes.

“Magnus, no. Not now, please.”

_“Ale—”_

“Magnus, I promise I’ll tell you. I _promise_. Just give me a couple of hours, please. _Please_.”

That request was three hours ago. After hanging up, he wrote a fire message and sent it to Jia Penhallow, announcing he was stepping down from his position as Head of the Institute and suggesting Izzy, with great regards, as the new one.

Sighing, he felt the wind blow gently, his wings fluttering behind him.

His black wings.

He became an abomination. He should be terrified of everyone’s reaction, the disgusted expressions he was already expecting from his fellow Shadowhunters, but he actually didn’t care.

The only reaction that scared him was Magnus’. Not because his wings were now tainted, he knew Magnus didn’t care about that. But he knew Magnus will be _furious_ for the sacrifice he made. The warlock knew the pain of losing a part of him, he would never want Alec to feel the same. But Alec never asked, he just acted.

He was okay with that.

Nevertheless, he was still scared. And if Magnus hated him? Worse, if he broke up with him?

Alec could survive many things, but not another breakup. The last one was already bad enough.

Fumbling with his phone a bit more, he finally opened his message box with Magnus and sent him his current localization through the GPS.

_That’s it._

The first morning rays broke through the sky, announcing the new day. The air cracked for a moment and Alec felt the telltale of a portal opening behind him.

His wings curled and he sighed again.

**_That’s it._ **

**Author's Note:**

> I don't have twitter, but you can always come to talk to me on [Tumblr](https://thelightofthebane.tumblr.com/)!


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